We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves

~ Gautam Buddha

Friday, August 6, 2010

Who's the boss?

Kinship, sweet and sour by nature yet most tingling spice of life and when one life we have then why don’t we make most of it? Therefore the key question of bond ship is bound to arise who keeps authoritarian edge over the other. The rule governs most of the relationships which otherwise supposed to be equal. We are genetically inclined to enjoy every bent of kinship's in our favor that is why the rule of equality in the relationships for most of us becomes the preferred choice of extinction.

Given attention on any of the relations between spouses, two friends, father-son, mother-daughter or vice versa, one out of two always keeps his or her position elevated, out of excuse of love or convenience.

When my husband a techie was in initial years of his job, few of his colleagues or juniors whenever would refer him BOSS. My daughter little then, had been all busy expanding her horizon of vocabulary and learning, would get all alert. Leaving her engrossment mid way she would pop inquisitiveness to her dad –“Why does uncle call you boss?” And my pleasure puffed hubby would reply as I am senior than him.

Whenever she would caught him referring SIR(specially on calls) with equal curiosity she would again confront him. The hubby dear taking full advantage of her cute ignorance too preferred to elevate his junior position. Actually—“I am the highest boss of the office and when any one calls me BOSS I have to refer him SIR.”

Constraint of words and explanation the cute little soul would chose to go in loving hug of her father with echoing fun and laughter rather than bothering to reach the truth of the clarification.
Soon she not only gasped the meaning of the words but started weighing the status of the involved persons while they were referring one another. But more attention she would give to details more confusion cropped up in her mind.

Innocently she decided to check it out with her aunt- “Isn’t it true that who is higher at the position should take the decision and frame rules.” Her aunt lovingly helped her –“yes, it is definitely true that whoever will be at higher position would be allowed to make the decisions.” Then she popped her most confusing question-“but then how come ,mom frames the rule and makes the decisions at home.” Coming nearer to her aunt with perplexed eyes she added-“and yesterday when she was annoyed, she ---.” When I entered in the room her aunt giggling and a baffled cute look on my little one face conveyed everything to me. I simply thanked my stars “thank god I married a mama boy with inbuilt virtue of obedience otherwise a reckless free soul could have given me a good ride.”

Then onwards being completely aware of the status involved in the kinship I chose to clarify my position well in advance as it helps me to build my position. Next weighing my own position I can tilt it to my side at anytime.

Whenever any colleague of mine at work place now a days comes with suggestions for job of the day, I instantly shot the pertinent question-“are you suggesting or bossing me?” Few wisdom oriented soul opt to say- no actually we came to learn, “that is fine”. I am too confident these days saying—welcome to my umbrella of bossy--- ?