We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves

~ Gautam Buddha

Friday, August 6, 2010

Who is the boss?

Kinship, I find  sweet and sour by nature yet  it is most tingling spice of life. We have one life then why don’t we make most of it?

Now on practical level the key question in bond ship is bound to arise who keeps authoritarian edge over the other.  Usually relationship is  supposed to be equal but in every relation it is tilted to one side.

But why complain about it? When one has been enjoying it? Most of us are genetically inclined to enjoy bent of kinship's in own favor that is why the rule of equality in the relationships becomes the preferred choice of extinction.

Give attention on any relations for instances spouses, two friends, father-son, mother-daughter or vice versa, one out of two always keeps his or her position elevated, out  of love or convenience.

My husband, a techi when he was in initial years of job often during conversation with his  his colleagues or juniors,he  would be referred as BOSS by them. My daughter,an enquisitive little doll then,was busy in expanding her horizon of vocabulary and learning. Whenever she would hear someone addressing her dad as BOSS she  would get alert. And leaving her engrossment mid way she would pop query to her dad –“Why does uncle call you boss?” And puffed with pleasure my hubby would reply her as I am senior than him.

Whenever she would listen him referring someone  SIR(specially on calls) with equal curiosity she would again confront him. The hubby dear taking full advantage of her cute ignorance would prefer to elevate his junior position. And laughingly answer her," Actually I am the highest boss at the office. Thus when any one calls me BOSS I have to refer him SIR.”

Keeping faith in her father explanation, the cute little soul would chose to go in loving hug of her father, echoing with fun and laughter rather than bothering to reach the truth of the clarification.

 But the things started changing with rolling times.Soon she not only gasped the meaning of the words but started weighing the status of the involved persons while they would refer one another.Till then constraint of words and explanation more attention on the matter would bring more confusion in her mind.

One day unable to resist she decided to clerify it with her aunt. She asked her, “Isn’t it true that who is higher at the position should take the decision and frame rules.” Her aunt lovingly helped her –“Yes, definitely,whoever will be at higher position would be allowed to make the decisions.” 

 Then the littly doll popped her most confusing question-“But how come ,mom frames the rule and makes the decisions at home.”  Then, with confused look she drew nearer to her aunt and with perplexed eyes she added-“Yesterday when mom was annoyed, she was  irrigated....  ---.” 

During their meeting oblivious of the topic, I entered in the room  to face her aunt giggling. A baffled expression appeared on her cute  face which conveyed everything to me.

 When I remembered day before's my low mood   i thanked my stars that I married a mam's boy with inbuilt virtue of obedience otherwise a reckless free soul could have given me a good ride.

While I witnessed my daughter's inquisitiveness on daily basis,I learnt the lesson to clarify my position well in advance in any dealings.It helps me to build my position. Weighing my position in advance gave me ample time to  tilt it in  my side at anytime.

Thus these days, at work place whenever any colleague comes with suggestions for the job of the day, I instantly shot the key question-“Are you  suggesting me  or bossing me?” Few wisdom oriented soul opt to say,"Actually we come to learn, Then puffed with pride of bossism i answer them,“That is fine.”I am too confident these days, asking them —"Welcome to my umbrella of bossy--- ?