We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves

~ Gautam Buddha

Monday, November 29, 2010

Raghu's reverie

When the train halted the windy chill of winter greeted Raghu at the exit. The loving smile of grand ma flashed in his mind and along with grand pa he alighted out of the train. The oblivion open platform with rustic masses and chorus of tea vendors all delighted him as after the exam he was there for winter vacation.
Waiting for bus alongside the dusty road he watched the sea of yellow mustard crop swaying in chilly wind. Wrapping the muffler around his neck Grand pa instructed Raghu to put on his cap and zip the jacket. After some wait a roaring of locomotive heard and a brightly painted bus stumbled down the bumpy path, the dust spraying wheels halted near them.
Loaded with passengers the snarling bus made its way to cascading path. On the narrow road the bus was passing through the pastoral frames of palm trees, grasslands and sea of green crops. After a short run the bus crossed the newly constructed bridge and took the way along the canal. The evening river breeze gushed in through the window and the smell of earthen air filled the nostril. The running bus had been spinning and dwarfing the trees and palms along the bank. The grey patches of grass and weeds along the canal bank seemed to him like hen with her chickens. He glanced at grand pa he had been leaning on the seat’s back with closed eyes.
Crossing the dusty road along the orchard he remembered the tangy taste of raw mango of summer. He silently recounted the smell and taste of tangy mangoes of orchard but now he had to be content with visual delight of green sea of crops.
In the fainting intensity of rays the logs and heaps of coals were burning in front of most of the hutments. Through the willowing smoke of burning coal he sighted the bamboo groves on opposite side of kaka’s house, a lean fellow of small stature kaka was an earnest helping hand of grand pa. Apart from managing the field duties he used to take care of live stocks at grand pa’s place.
The soft amiable attitude and the magic of his hilarious humor had created a special bond with many of the children of the house.
His reverie took him to the last summer’s bustling recreation of swings on the bamboo groove. The rioting chorus of the children of kaka's place had got its delighted surge when with his cousin Raghav,he had come over there. To give them a pleasant surprise the elated kaka had frantically tied a cot as swing on the enormously high branches of bamboo tree and the hulla balloo of enchantment with other children had been lasted till dusk.
He remembered his last winter stay at grand pa place. When in the evaporating foggy morning being under the quilt he had heard the annoyance of kaka outside. In the chilled early hours kaka had been complaining about his delayed breakfast. As the delayed breakfast would hamper numerous answerable chores of grand pa and he would have to listen the reprimand from him. Raghu was amazed how his otherwise quick tempered aunt peevishly endured all his grunts. However he was inquisitively amused after all in teeth cluttering chill of morning hours where kaka had to go with such urgency.
Unable to resist any more he had been out of the cozy charpoy and rubbing his eyes still under drowsiness he had somehow straightened himself in front annoyed disposition of kaka. But his sight instantly delighted him, “ oh child in such a cold weather why did you come out of the bed so early, he admonish him softly holding his palm to save the fast evaporating warmness and hid him fondly in his thick cotton chadder . “But where are you going so early in the morning, kaka”, he shot his curiosity. Forgetting all about his delay he started with puffed heart- “oh I too have to go office like your father, it is really urgent”. “What do you do over there kaka?” – It was the next inquisitiveness, without halting at his glitch, confidently he added, “oh lots of jobs have to complete me over there. I have to do likhai – padhai(read and write). I do sit on the table and write on the chair.” And the odd description of his weird yet interesting work place put the Raghu in hilarious laughter. While he had been pouring out myriad queries regarding all interesting and weird office of his; Raghu had been seriously contemplating a must have visit of so interesting yet uncanny place. He felt a magical appeal about the kaka’s office.
The running bus came to the screech; he viewed the hutments at far. The settling winter fogs were blurring the hutments behind. He remembered his excursion of bullock cart and the delight of few hours stay in the thatched house of the grandparent’s employees. And how accidently that day he had explored the mystic office of kaka - a brick kiln of grand pa but he would not disclose it to him. Perhaps kaka would not feel better or it would steal him a good hilarious story session of kaka.
He already grown an year older and besides achieving second rank in the class he got selected in the football team of his school. He had to share many things with granny and kaka and that time he would evade the visit of brick kiln site although he had enjoyed every moment of watching the methodical process of kiln casting for hours.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

My musing-how to cater the work power?

On the world map the powerful emerging leaders are China and India. The reason behind their rising strength is working man power.
In the billion populations of ours and in addition of the populous states like UP and Bihar which is known for its vast resources of labor forces and skilled workers are ready to work. For the job search the migration not only of workers but by educated masses are rampant and palpable all across the country and globally.
In addition to this in India there is numerous educated women force- ready to work on contractual basis and in flexi- time limit without disturbing and damaging the safe guard of family fabric. This educated group not only belongs to educated women but the skilled and knowledgeable vast group of post retirement people who are equipped with experience and ready to serve for at least five to ten years more. The nature of this work force is perennial.
It means the vibratory populous country of ours has vast resources of working power to cater and promote the different fields.
So isn’t it time to generate the innovative means to engage these people for growth and progress. How state wise and keeping in mind the geography of the place these powers can be utilized without forcing migration on them and breaking family set up?
Blog is an immediate forum and window to seek the response to any problem. I hope this query of mine would draw attention of many expert brains that can show platforms to engage and suggest way to this. Isn’t it sheer wastage of skill and work force left underutilized in any country? I know unemployment is a biggest problem globally. Still in the country like ours where best brains are ready to give attention on the unorganized sectors during their summer internship, this unorganized sector of work force with enough potentialities is also seeking remedy.
The IIM alumnus and other experts who are known for their innovative means and best brain to utilized resources in best possible way must give their attention to this unorganized and underutilized sector.
So they can also contribute to the country, society, family and most importantly to the happiness quotient of theirs lives.

Monday, November 22, 2010

The couple

It was the post festivity season of advanced autumn there fore there were slight travelers inside the compartment. The rattling of train increased as it crossed the iron bridge of Victorian era.The monotony of advanced journey wrapped me in melancholy. Feeling drowsy I closed the open book on my lap, and outstretched my legs to relax comfortably.
When the train started slithering, I craned my neck to peep outside, the piercing railway's announcement got sharpened and eventually it halted. At the well lit platform the usual urgency was pulsating with rushing people and lug gages against the back drop of food stalls of irctc with bottled water and fancy snacks.
The scuffs of feet and mumbling chit chat near me steered my attention back inside the compartment. A couple the occupants of the berth opposite of mine were standing by the berth. Confirming their berth number they slid down the luggage under the berth and occupied the place opposite of me.
Dragged in prevalent monotony I chose to have a nap. Suddenly through the half closed eyes I got the glimpse of a manicured hand putting a chic hand bag on small dining board near my head. The glow of a fleeting milky hand disrupted the dullness of my mind for the while.
Quite a tuned coordination was stirring at the opposite seat of mine. A melodious discomfiture of coughing wife got reciprocated by the hubby with the magical donation of shining bottled water. The sight of bottled water recalled my neglected need of throat and I started looking for my own. The coolness of chilled water felt good and out of concerned I passed the bottle to Ed who was sleeping on the upper berth.
Fatigued with day long occupation we were contemplating an early siesta and waiting for the meals to be served.
I passed the food tray to Ed as he was reluctant to come down, and started the meal on my berth. On the opposite berth the symphony of love was in the air. The hubby was frantically unpacking the food items on the tray kept on the food board and arranged the plate for the wife. “The love birds, how nature binds couples,” I thought.
The drop in temperature before the day break seemed a bit inconvenient, and after few toss and turn I decided to view the nature after the refreshed siesta. Before that I felt need to freshen up.
Being inside the wash area the incoherent noise of an arguing couple was audible outside. “Who started in early hours?” I got amazed. A feminine tone in sobs was panting her annoyance. To douse the incensed wheezing of the lady the mumbling cajoles of the guy seemed so genuine. My exit halted their panting and raving for the moment. While coming out, my glance fell on the gent’s back in the striped night suit, and black t- shirt of the girl.
I returned to my berth the lady was sleeping peacefully opposite of mine. The hues outside were changing continually with advancing moments of twilight. I decided to feel the magic and it seemed best to watch the nature outside with its ever changing frame.
The rendezvous of mine with crack of dawn acted as a catalyst to induce me in sleep with the ascending sun soon I dozed off.
I sharp voice pierced my snooze and the rattling of train reminded me of my where about. It was irctc staff with news paper and tea, and standing by the berth Ed was telling me to have the tea. After waking up I realized that I was having belated tea in the compartment.
On the opposite berth of mine the gents was engrossed in tea preparation sharing the sheet of his slept wife. After a while he softly shook the fragile loving thing to have her tea. And then as slow recap the scene unfolded according to my conceptualization.
In the morning sun the loving thing sat lazily, holding tea in her manicured hand, beside her henpecked hubby, “A lucky thing indeed”, I mused.
Feeling freshened up with beverage, I caught the attention of a jean clad – a girl-with long open hair who was passing through the boggy, in black t- shirt--? Asking for the charger point she stopped for the moment. The attention of the guy, opposite of mine too got hooked to her. A changed of expression seized his ease for the moment then he composed himself.
For the moment he hesitated then pulling out his legs out the sheet, with charming smile, he held the empty cup from his wife hands, put it beneath the berth and added I am coming, after washing my hands; he walked away in his striped night suit, behind the black t- shirt. My sight got freezed by the dubious affiliations of his.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

A casual musing

A fleeting muse passed through me while going through the Sunday's Supplement of TOI—about the best inspiring chat of celebrities….
Ritu Beri, the designer had mentioned about the enormous impact of the conversation of hers with legendary Danielle Steele. Ritu Beri with her one year old child mentioned to her about the turmoil of working woman’s motherhood. Danielle Steele answered her,”I have nine children. I wrote books in between feeds, changing diapers and before she knew she was expecting again.” The read not only act as an inspiration of invincible and unfailing level of energy of Danielle but raises a debate about the unfailing source of incessant energy of hers.
Another striking conversation was of Anupam Kher,the actor with a blind man during his low as a struggling actor. He was advised by the blind man to wear bright colors to cheer him up. Really that shows a good example of optimism of blind man talking about the power of colors.
Everyone holds some view of his/her own on the topic and I would like to share it here.When I remember my most memorable one with lasting effect it is happened during one of my meditative session. The talk of mine is happened when I was connecting to real self in my personal space (during meditation) during the moment of low. In the meditative stillness I was accessing or rather witnessing all those moment of low once again. Then like a suggestion it flashed through me. “Why don’t I work for best to correct it? What is resisting inside me to visualize best of it? However it takes a good effort to collect all branched off dissipating energy and channelize back in desired direction yet it is not impossible.
This talk of mine with myself till date I feel the most memorable one. What is your memorable talk?

Monday, November 15, 2010

The liaison

The New Year Eve approached with its familiar nip in the air. The hills of valley region were full of winter blossom. The manicured gardens and the dyke areas were wooing the merry makers in their best manicured looks. Every morning and at the dusk the rioting chorus of the zooming tourist’s buses and vehicles had been piercing the solitude of otherwise quiet remote colonies of ours.
Catering the influx of visitors and meeting deadlines the laziness crept in uninitiated and overwhelmed with it I decided to pull out of the New Year Eve’s party. But few out stationed friends were making to the occasion to renew the bond so all excuse appeared irrelevant.
Against the settled haze of December winter the gathering was pulsating in symphony. The steaming warmth of throbbing gathering was rising in the smoky chill of hilly terrain. The feminine throng was settled near the bon fire. I too got settled with my friends over there. In that exciting air some new faces were beaming over there. Opposite of mine in the fluttering orange vapor of fire I caught the glimpse of a sculpted ivory face. In the reflected carroty hue of flames her responding eyes would gleam exuding the exquisitely charm. Her high peaked nose would get shrunk in approval in response during the chat. Beauty always leaves its appeal, it sank inside me.
On being called upon by someone she elegantly stooped forth looking for her silhouettes and her silky locks bounced ahead delightfully. She elegantly stood up, the shawl shrug off her ivory shoulder to flatter her curvy contour; she gracefully ramped towards the reception area. In the open lawn of club the floating mist in the air was complimenting the chilly haziness.
To the parents’ relief near the volley ball court the children were bustling in the games manned by few sporty chaps.
The celebration evolved into dinner time at the past mid time. Now the dining and lounge areas were thronging with glasses and smokes. “How many new recruits are there at this time of season? Now your place does not seem so remote that counted only as an ideal succor for vacation and merry making, my friend commented. So many projects are beaming up here and with them –added facilities and expansions with every passing day.”
Now the crept mist was making the hall foggier and the wafting aroma of food and bustle of the area were surging. Few youngster lots with their glasses settled on the table in the next row. In that horde the expressive eyes with equally charming tiny tot took her place in the next row facing me. The gleaming expressions of her sharp features would get more prominent while she was instructing her little girl, “Whose wife is she?” I thought.
On next gathering the imposed familiarity of small place of ours rewarded me the blossomed smile of hers during the overture. The unrestricted allure of her charm was spreading faster in the air soon it got cleared. The mesmerizing freshness and charm would accompany her everywhere exuding its appeal. Then the hush of whisper of her straying liaison was floated in the air, first to be ignored then it came with daring audible limit.
“Who is that fellow after all? -The lean suave one with broody look.” The imagination refused to grasp –the wafting rumors-nothing new of small place. Better not to poke nose in other affairs—“after all who had seen and can discuss with such a conviction? A strong reason to ignore for many of us, ----but the stray thing happened one time, then next in public view, accelerating the wagging tongues every time.
“Is it normal? How can she go stray to such an extent? Why does she risk her blissful married life? Cannot she chalk out futility of such desperation?”
Amidst all those rumors and facts, he-the sufferer-her spouse- was walking side by side with him-as a civilized person does-with the center of his affliction—the trouble shooter- a pretended friend. “Probably he is not aware of the fact, a busy man indeed with long working hours”, it got mused by the people.”But his holistic demeanor startled everyone despite the increasing frequencies of intermittent desperation by both of them, now in open display.
“Isn’t it a curse to live such a hell without any fault of own? A fleeting muse crossed the mind after glancing on her husband –a decent one with best of career and repute. But his genius got cleared during the crisis. He was there with the crowning glory of his life with his daughter tending, laughing and playing.
“ Is a dignified person become helpless in such a situation?” As he too cannot stoop such a low in life “what can be the best remedy?” I failed to find out.
Surprising all of us the solution itself emerged out through the crisis.
“What were the responses of famous and most brainy? How did they cope with the infidelity of their spouses? How did they sail out of the crisis not losing faith in lives nor their ability to live with dignity? To save the family especially the lives of children they chose to reconcile with the life.
During the walk the shuffling of his feet caught my attention, in the scattered dimness of vapor lamp he was heading home, carrying the bag of essentialities after a long day work. He seems a resilient, unique tribe of own who not only rules the house hold but mind and soul too. A confident accomplisher and believer of power of love win the game by love not by desperation. Believing in love and having the perception of right and wrong he knows that the enticement does not last long. It is the love and sincerity of relationship that binds a couple, not the look and lustful inclination. The lecherous usually fails to see the product of secure loving home and conjugal bliss in the glow of married woman face. This universe runs a perfect accounting system where no investments go unpaid. A courageous and patient spirit always reaps the benefit of his love in compound interest and reverses the steering back to his life. Others get sunk in quick sand and any lustful affair steal their lives.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The mail

"Where is she ? Why do I find her call always busy ?” Riya asked herself shaken – then there came a ring on her cell phone---- She got the call just afterwords, “what were you doing?” nothing your call had got disconnected that I was retrieving. Riya swallowed the lie with piercing silence. "What are you doing today?" “Nothing I have not thought about it.” She got the meaning, “I don’t want to let you know, it is none of your business.” She knew even the answers of her insistence.
When love dies the relationship wilts, she knows this. How long will she permit these things to happen in her life? The incessant lies she had been receiving since her marriage. After the separation the financial burden she was facing and now the girl is straying. Before completion of one chapter of lies how this next has started. Why is it happening to her? Feeling choked she contemplated.
Tired she sat on the desk to complete her half finished work. But before that she must mail the publisher and request him for fresh deadline. She glanced on the half finished sections of the book. She started with reeling conscious--
To: Revathy @-----
Subject:Your home coming
When you will return, I would cherish the moment. I would wait for that elusive moment when you would realize your folly. When the truth would sink inside you that you are chasing the boundary instead of map, when you will realize the difference between life and illusion. When you will discern what is meaning of fullness of relationship. It is easy to get enticed; it is equally easy to fool your own people. There is no strength in fooling those who love you. It is a weakness of lust that is giving you wrong reason to deceive and live life of a liar which you are living at present. Strength lies in admitting and creating awareness for right or wrong.
A day will come when you shall realize the futilities of all that useless pursuits of deceives. You will certainly realize the wastage of time and energy you had invested in proving and shielding your wrongs. Instead of that you could have chosen to create a strong self. Admitting and building the truth so your future would have built on strong unshakable foundation.
When one fools and deceives their own people to create a relationship, how can that relationship work or would not collapse suddenly which is build on the shaken foundation of lies.
Now as a parent I reason myself about the place where I must have gone wrong. And certainly those moments of my wrong created these painful sagas of wrongs in you. Now I sincerely wish to stop the vicious cycle of wrongs. It is too painful to live with these series of wrongs Often I would pray to god and ask him to tell me where I went wrong. I want to change and undo my leniency.
With blurred vision she clicked at the –send. Wiping the sopping cheek she read the texts again and again -----

Monday, November 8, 2010

The promising star

After the completion of the diagram on the black board, I waited for the collective attention of the students in the classroom. Till then only few had only copied it whereas rest of them were still juggling at their initial stages. Though it was a disciplined class room but their different IQ levels and pace of work would often irritate me. In the generalized system of education everyone was served same pace and opportunity. Standing beside the board I halted for the time being to start the topic.

During the explanation, browsing through the class my attention got caught by the two inquisitive eyes among those reluctant lots of back benchers. But whenever I tried to get hold on that, I found that they vanished somewhere in the group. With advancement of chapters I registered a regular presence of an absorbing and assimilating mind over there.

“Isn’t there a boy in the fifth Std, observant and inquisitive one though a bit hesitant?” In the staff room I enquired of the class teacher Maria when I came to know about her flourishing group of tuition students. "That is Ruknubar— he is being fondly called Ruku by us. Not a bright one he is really-but polite enough and obedient. In fact he is a slow learner –before the exams he proves a pain” stated Maria.
As the session rolled in I found a permanent vibrancy in that particular corner of the classroom. Two inquisitive eyes were following every instruction of mine, working and jotting it down promptly. In the morning on my desk I would find his science note book with all scribbled answers of last class. However during the correction session his corporal presence around me would always got pushed aside by some smart and intelligent lots. Shyness and low confidence were his characteristics till then it had become evident to me.

But certainly a bond of empathy of mine was established with that particular corner. Now I found a new keenness on my part to search my attention holder student a bit deeper. I felt an urge to pull out that hidden and shaken self out of the shadow of low self confidence. I felt a need of precision while handling my empathy bonded scholar, as a bit of extra boldness on my part could prove detrimental to push him back in his shadowed self.

therfore I decided to work on fine level to pullout him out of the shadow of his perennial hovering low confidence. To prompt him to accomplish any task I preferred to put fine hints first. He was abysmal poor at the up keep of his notebooks with scribbled handwriting all over the pages, with equally uncared persona. Then I decided to work on each of them one by one, but what should be taken first I thought.

In the unit test my little learner charmed me again with his magic. The scribbled handwriting was the top scorer of the class. His score strengthened by desire to work on his weakness. To build a self confident persona of his that was the right time to put all the cords at right place.
Next in the class I appreciated those who had given the appropriate diagrams at every possible answer in the test. When I asked about those who had complied ,a hand rose promptly hiding the glow of earned pride on his face. I asked him his name- “Ruku –bu-, he faltered for completion, an embarrassment flashed on his face.He tried hard halting at several place. The class monitor Snigdha bailed him out of his discomfort and spelled out Ma,m, Rukunbar.

With not so clean look and often with crumbled uniform he would appear in the class. A strict vigilance on my part could turn other way so I diverted the attention of the class on the texts.
Back in the staffroom to unfold the entirety of Ruku’ s story Maria proved an aid-“his father works on a petrol pump , that one on the corner of our school he is an old staff over there so he earns decently. Ruku is the eldest of his five children only one regular to school others are simply not interested.” When I revealed my ignorance about his stammering, Maria added, “Not only this he is epileptic too.” One day she mentioned casually that Ruku had been taking interest in studies.He was attending the classes regularly with all completed works.

Holding attention on my empathy bound learner I advanced the task by dividing the class in four groups. Naturally to fill the positions of group leader the highest scorer and highest promptness shown in all activities was chosen. Amidst the cheers a self hidden soul stood to grasp attention and admiration of the class. I noticed he accepted the position in certain dignified way; a confidence was palpable on his face with a resolve to follow and act on every rule abided by the position.

Then I decided to step further, and during the moral class I raised the debate on personal hygiene and on the measures of personality development.

After that I noticed a change in his demeanor but as usual I had been choosing to avoid any keenness on my part fearing his withdrawal. But I was testing the patience of eleven year old one. Who was meticulously working on my next passed instruction and now the child was impatiently longing for the rewards.

As the group leaders were instructed to bring copies in the morning he would come dutifully with the note book bundle wishing me good morning. He kept the stack in front of me. Then he opened the page of the note book on the desk, I silently nodded in gratification. He was still there, lovingly I rose my head “what?” He hesitated –“Mam my uniform isn’t clean and my nail? he asked innocently outstretching his fingers in front of me.

And then I noticed he was there combed hair and well uniformed. It took me for a while to imbibe his pristine innocence, in response I lovingly added-“yes, you are.” With overwhelming shyness he darted out drenched in pleasure of praise.

That year he scored highest almost in all subjects placing his position at the top. And then unconsciously I debated- “who is important in action oriented process of education, Arjun or Dronnacharya?” my answer tilted to Arjuna.

After my stint of three years over there, to advance my career I joined bigger establishment in the same city still I was in continuous touch with all my ex colleagues and friends.

After the holiday of few days when school reopened I found an envelope was waiting for me, on my desk. It was from my ex school mate, Maria “after wishing me she had mentioned the good news Mam, your promising star shined the sky as school topper in board and is ready to soar the sky” I simply visualized him in my closed eyes wishing all success and best of life.