We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves

~ Gautam Buddha

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

The mail

"Where is she ? Why do I find her call always busy ?” Riya asked herself shaken – then there came a ring on her cell phone---- She got the call just afterwords, “what were you doing?” nothing your call had got disconnected that I was retrieving. Riya swallowed the lie with piercing silence. "What are you doing today?" “Nothing I have not thought about it.” She got the meaning, “I don’t want to let you know, it is none of your business.” She knew even the answers of her insistence.
When love dies the relationship wilts, she knows this. How long will she permit these things to happen in her life? The incessant lies she had been receiving since her marriage. After the separation the financial burden she was facing and now the girl is straying. Before completion of one chapter of lies how this next has started. Why is it happening to her? Feeling choked she contemplated.
Tired she sat on the desk to complete her half finished work. But before that she must mail the publisher and request him for fresh deadline. She glanced on the half finished sections of the book. She started with reeling conscious--
To: Revathy @-----
Subject:Your home coming
When you will return, I would cherish the moment. I would wait for that elusive moment when you would realize your folly. When the truth would sink inside you that you are chasing the boundary instead of map, when you will realize the difference between life and illusion. When you will discern what is meaning of fullness of relationship. It is easy to get enticed; it is equally easy to fool your own people. There is no strength in fooling those who love you. It is a weakness of lust that is giving you wrong reason to deceive and live life of a liar which you are living at present. Strength lies in admitting and creating awareness for right or wrong.
A day will come when you shall realize the futilities of all that useless pursuits of deceives. You will certainly realize the wastage of time and energy you had invested in proving and shielding your wrongs. Instead of that you could have chosen to create a strong self. Admitting and building the truth so your future would have built on strong unshakable foundation.
When one fools and deceives their own people to create a relationship, how can that relationship work or would not collapse suddenly which is build on the shaken foundation of lies.
Now as a parent I reason myself about the place where I must have gone wrong. And certainly those moments of my wrong created these painful sagas of wrongs in you. Now I sincerely wish to stop the vicious cycle of wrongs. It is too painful to live with these series of wrongs Often I would pray to god and ask him to tell me where I went wrong. I want to change and undo my leniency.
With blurred vision she clicked at the –send. Wiping the sopping cheek she read the texts again and again -----