The lost lane of bliss

At night certain uneasiness dawned at me, soon after a soft pain accompanied it.At crack of dawn the cramping of stomach overtook the siesta. Apprehending the day ahead, I resolute for light breakfast and meal,but  morning progressed with nausea and stomach cramping. And my resolution resulted as no food at all.


After completion of half day work of Saturday, with sinking energy when I had been heading home the mind was too speedy. Totally overpowered by the non-conducive thoughts, the mind was struggling to give up.
Hours after, while making the bed my brain was still roaming and recalling those long buried hurts and people.


The rolling incidents of my mind were vitality sapping and subjects were negating people! I was continuously wandering into the dark lanes of morose thoughts, feeding on precious vital energy. The vampires of life were my subject thoughts and had been sucking me mightily.

Even my awareness to overpowering negativity seemed frail. At the moment, to cut the vicious thread of moronic thoughts seemed a herculean task. My struggle went for hours with failed triumph.


Why I was so engulfed unable to discard it, I was amazed. I recollected my day schedule. I wondered the causes of it. Are my missed quotas of brain rescheduling meditation and hourly japa resulted to this havocking energy dissipating miserly thoughts?


For the ease, I halted for a deep breath, tried to relax and prayed ,O’ lord take care of me. I glanced at the Shiva family the most empowered one-the Adi Guru, the ruler of the universe. Ma Parvati or Ma Durga, strength or “Durg” of self. The obstacle remover Ganpati is the doorway to joyful day and endevour. The Lord of purity,  Kartikeya, the mighty discipline and discriminator of mind. His presence in life ensures safety and success. The Kalpa Brichya or boon giver or wish fulfiller/  Nandi.


 At the moment I wanted to capture my lost vitality. I started to grasp the essence of Ganpati.
-Peace leads to concentration. 
-Awareness of present moment.,
-Being attentive-talk less and listening more.,
- Acquiring power of discrimination.
- Equanimity- digests good and bad with equal ease. 
-Be detached.
- Egoless.

I had to ponder on all that zones; I had to find my lost lane of bliss and harmony in the maze of whirly allies of negative thoughts. I had to work religiously on lost points of my Ganesha.


Entire incident gave me few mute points to ponder on. Was my sinking energy level, dragged me down in racy, morose thoughts. Or was it my inability to capture the positive frame of mind back fired? Or my indecisiveness and unawareness during illness had dissipated energy at the alacrity and I got pushed in lower thoughts?

Out of sight but she never been out of mind

Mother the nurturer, protector and creator. She is the reason for our existence on the earth. She the protector as in her presence we built the strength to stand on our own. She was the first experience of our strength.

The first teacher of life the philosopher and friend or our full persona is she. But now it seems difficult to comprehend and chronicle her in tags when she is not around to make things easy for me.

 But her walking synonyms- still seek by me. I look around and when I get any parallel of her, I get my fill or feel of her.

She was the first denial of my teenager revolts. Bound by my hormonal confusion my tantrums had learned the first lesson of patience in her firm expression.  With clear message that bearing one’s tantrums didn’t mean succumb to it. She was the first clarity of my myopic learning.

As a mentor she would rule my world not in her corporal presence but in her absence too. She was a deft accomplisher of mean business of motherhood. Even now in bleak moment of my motherhood I rely on those skills for rescue.

Perhaps mother hood is all about knowing the patient business of taming the formative mind and mutate the genes of offspring on the will. When I regret to my children being so nutty, I get reassured by them. “Don’t feel bad mom, next time we will listen you. And in a year we will automatically follow you. Recalling, oh mom said so! As your suggestions have already mutated our genes to obey them as unfailing commands. Have patience it is only matter of time and mothers’ are known never to give up.”

 And then it amazes me how mother rules the frame of mind always, in my smile, in my talk. She is just out of sight she has never been out of mind. That is why we unconsciously obey her, more we recall her more we become her. That is why she is mother!

 But still motherhood is the most revered one as it gives an opportunity to be a creator. Happy mother’s day!

The icon

The yesteryear actress of nineties  Archana Puran Singh, who was acclaimed for her sizzling dance sequence in movie directed by Pankaj Praser. The bold story of drug dealing was set in picturesque Goa. It got critically acclaimed on many fronts-for direction to its whirly camera movements, editing and choreography.It was supported with fresh star casts.With its aesthetic presentation the movie had long been captured the imagination of audience.

But after that with her first famed release of first movie, the actress surprised many with no- another- release parallel to it.


Soon with her down heading career, for survival sake perhaps the talented actor opted  flavour vanished, stereotyped roles. And the disheartened fans accepted her in repetitive roles of eccentric vamp-yelling nonsensically. Though, her work out persona and maintained aura, even in her restricted script would often tap the memory of her amazing dance moves of first release.


Perhaps this is called destiny. And it forces us to believe in upper hand of almighty or higher one in occurrence of life. Truth of life unfolds to us, with our puppetry role as a human existence where success and failure are chained somewhere else.


But certainly this is not the end of story, it is start. Then what keeps her survived in her career despite not so supportive destiny. What about her still knocks the consciousness? Why does even her small screen presence etch the memory lane seeking share of attention? There is certainly something in her. 


Her lively, well groomed youthful look perhaps again an endeavour to keep pace with seven year junior hubby. But here again she is undoubtedly an unbeatable winner, proving her points in life that love and harmony matter more in matrimony than disparity of age.
Supported with her energetic presence, the small screen show of comedy circus has been running for years without any interruption.

Her intelligently apt hilarity to support a weak humour is really commendable. Her humanity rank first as she responds to worst humour in most dignified way.


At the family front she came as home runner, still without regretting her hard push as an earner.

Though her bouncy ever fighting spirit still misrepresented by Bollywood in repetitive dabbles of negative roles. For decades dangling in short psychotic role she now geared to small screen with talk show and as finalist.


With successful matrimony and children she seems to be blissfully happy giving her best to every job of life. 


At comedy-circus as multi tasker her inevitability makes sense. To uplift the energy of sinking humour and saving TRP, she shakes the show with well tuned punch lifting guffaw. Her positive comment as a judge and charismatic gearing retains the integrity of the space from straying in double meaning gags. 


No doubt the earnest approach positioned her as a permanent finalist of the show, ironically sometimes at the cost of afflicting ruthless hurled humour. And now sailing through the odds of nonsense in cheerful and composed way her presence seems more pertinent in the show than the performers.

Her persistent energetic endeavour to work, her ease at rolling in laughter at nonsense now makes sense. Her dignified way to take the ruthless jokes without any tinge of hurt and offend.Her role as support system be it running of home and hearth or maintaining harmony in family.She is commendable everywhere. 


In short her presence says, I am Archana Puran Singh or rather Puran Singh who ensures the purn “complete” sailing of things be it life, family or a show.” 

THE WAY OUT

She put her signature at the paper, the crushing anguish shivered through her. In overwhelming dizziness, she conjured the sight of home front. Dealing with sadistic sucking vampire! How she abhorred that life!
Few moment of escape she wanted for her survival from that horribly created anguish at home. She wanted to escape from those people, the suckers! Vampires of life!

They mean to negate and sap one’s vitality, but at this closed, desolate place, with scarce opportunity, the last hope to continue there for her crashed today. The permanent one was returning at his place. Hopelessness engulfed her. Through her frosty sight she conjured her state- she visualized her dealing with them throughout the day.
Few more years advanced, few more crises came and jolted her life. How long all this going to envelope her? She would question herself. When her life would be normal like any other person?

When did she feel some enjoyment? It seemed more than a decade to her when any incident jubilated her to the core. Why happiness had been turning so remote to her? Why one after another she is getting engulfed in the crises she abhorred most.

In the big hall, during meditation session, she felt distracted unable to follow even the simple instruction. She got amazed watching the people who were following the instructors promptly. It amazed how openly people were talking or discussing their problems with masters.

For her there were array of amazements waiting to be unfolded. She was perplexed in many ways. “Is it safe to open up?” She questioned herself, though her heart had long been crying for redressal.  In fact she was having problems with bowing down to those simple looking couple. They were teaching the methods, brimming with happiness, smilingly stopping to different people. Several times without any insistence by them she was suggested and told things, which she grasped despite feeling it non convincing.

But then with book of inner journey in hand she stood from there to walk the path of life. “Not so easy, but not that difficult either”, she speculated. The bunch of key to solve the problems was in her hand. Now she had to find right key for right path. Learning, studies, contemplations were now the new additions to her routine.

Few years more added in her life with few more opportunities, few gratifying growth and few more crisis to solve! Still she contemplated and seeks for solution. To chalk the right way to solution, she would mull over the origin, was it inside or outside? And every time she found the origin of problems inside.

She assessed her projection to the world. As a fragile self it was she who presented herself to others, to be taken granted or being utilized. She realized her wrong  projection as a frail self had prompted others to take advantage of her.

Now it was time for her to stop the blame game and to take responsibility to create her life.To create strength to face compliment and criticism at the ease.

To create life,  she realized there must be clarity in mind, a full picture of life.She felt that the outside efforts of correction measures cent percent should be supported by right attitude and clear picture of solution, unfailing, always and permanently.  

The feminine icon

Her indomitable steely spirit.

Her coy smile through jasmine decked tresses. Her porcelain, leany frame. Her victorious survival and refusal to succumb to martyrdom!

Isn’t her victory- a case in point just out of mythological text figrine of our motherland's epitomic feminine strength.

Her every move holds special appeal who can forget the flashing news on national T.V.a decade back. Hers gritty walk in her dilapidated lake home after the lash out of a devastating cyclone.

It was hard to accept a life in home arrest bereft of kin and even lacking the basic of life- the electricity.

Her faith or grit infusing speech of freedom as she had started-“it is not power that corrupts, but fear……

Now her every step exuberates, the unbending strength. That sets her apart from being a natural martyr to a victor- one time and every time while the world witnessed her handling the crisis of life.

Though her rapid journey from prisoner to parliamentarian calls for various challenges ahead yet it qualifies her for more inquisitive glances by the world.

Her biggest challenge is to deal the hostile lower house in parliament for her crucial cordialities with reformist Thein Sein.

She has to meet the expectations of improvised, isolated, poverty ridden citizens.

Tired of military misrule the citizens of Myannamar are viewing a miraculous cure of all their woes under her rule.

Converting people expectations in poor country like Myannamar is dare defying job. The challenge is bigger but unavoidable-it is addressing the hardships of common man life that entails provision of food, education and health-the three basics of dignified life.

But now, I realized it is not easy to erase or forget the news of- an indomitable spirit as it gets preserved in brain. Her perseverance to cause is hardest to ignore that is why she is- strongest in appeal.

So who can wait another women’s day to write about – Suu Kyi- she is simply alluring! A tribute to her feminine strength!

WHERE IS MY GANESHA?

After accomplishing the job outdoor Rhea entered in office and placed her stuffs on the table. She hoped a peaceful relaxation of an hour at her desk. The grim and grease of city had taken good toll on her in few hours.

Her attention went on a snide regional remark thrown from one corner. It kept doing the round for a while. Added with smirk it had been halting for the moment to get bulkier with spicy addition or supposed to be funnier in some opinions. There were more jubilations near the fitting sadistic souls for more addition of snide and snigger.

Viewing a constructivel day ahead she tried to control her peace of mind. Thus she chose to ignore the shuttling smirk at the place . Convincing herself it was not directly maneuvered on her. She tried to engross herself in work. Being at her place she wished harmony in space as peace never abode on snide and smirk.

Next gratified with instant sadistic pleasure, when the adjoining acquaintance steered the joke to her, she felt enough is enough.

Stunned with audacity of sadistic engagement she felt a need to address the ongoing unpleasantness. Though she regretted the unnecessary occupation yet it was unavoidable.

The origin point of sarcasm was a news paper. The caricature of people were humorously depicted to show sorry affair of the region. And just to satiate the ever sinking confidence of theirs, the perennial low confidents were the active participator. The apathetic lengthy discussions with insensible comments had been drenching few of them in peel of laughter for hours.

Watching quietly Rhea waited for opportune moment of tranquility to prevail. Afterward she politely raised the appropriateness of discussion and the apathy involved in it to the offender.

Now it was his turned to be taken aback. Least he had expected the firm reasoning that too by a grounded lady. Apparently troubled he instantly asked let off for created offend. Quivered under the asked explanation he wriggled back in self.

But it was not the end of it. Actually it was the start of back biting gossip at work place. And for Rhea it was a big headache to handle unsavory when she had to meet the deadline of work.

Perplexed she asked herself, “where is my Ganesha? Where did I go wrong? Where did I fail to follow my Ganesha?”

Then she assessed the attributes of Lord Ganesha, just to find where did she fail?

The attributes of ganesha tell us

- To stay us “egoless.”

-Practice detachment.

-We must develop of equanimity. Power to assimilate good and bad of life with harmony.

Rhea assessed she was a bit disoriented and tired that made her intolerant of bad comment. She lost her equanimity-the attribute of Lord Ganesha.

She asked herself whether she was egoless, while yielding to reactions. Perhaps she wasn’t.

Though she had conscious to discriminate between good and bad, she was not peaceful as she was stressed.

She had been stressed so been losing herself to reactions. The reaction dragged her far from concentration soon it evaporated her peace of mind.

Now ,being on her place Rhea was contemplating, a silent retreat to her home-a visit to her inner space to fill the self with all necessities once again. She felt urgent need of a meditation session to acquire all lost attributes of Ganesha. To recharge herself and to feel the bliss.

Imperfection! Is it inevitable?

In hard ruled world of perfection imperfections are most abhorred things. No one wants to be dragged down in life.

The persistency of hard work shows in the fructified efforts of well oiled house. The double incomes status,the impressive address of high end luxurious destination,the home where children are heading to reputed institution. An impressive and gratifying way to live life!

But imperfections are still there as no one has a minute to spare for things other than career and nuclear set up family.

As a result family precedence such as grandparents, a place for relaxation and love often missed in hard paced lives. Hard pressed routine neither leaves time for relatives, neighbors nor for relaxed moments.

Usually preparation of the empowered life has been started long ago in many a life.Devoted to ambition and success,the nuclear set up of family hardly provides time for simple happiness of life.Time constraints life style leave little time for mingling. Further forced with accumulated stress of commitments,then they view mingling with people and catering their moods as unnecessary botheration. At a point fed up with these botheration in daily life a person decides not to waste further energy on people around. Channelizing energy on work in hand seems to work miraculously for the time being. But ultimately it results in world of –I, my and me- my job , my money, my status- flashing the virtual hoarding of all time “trespassers are prohibited.”

But world is a bit different, it does not constitute of “mine”. In free flowing reservoir of universe the energy flows uniformly. And in our lives we receive them from all ten directions-happiness from progeny, ancestors, career health and so on…all ten directions are equally important to obtain the everlasting bliss or happiness in our lives. But sometimes unknowing and lack of awareness blocks the receiving from some of the directions,then sufferings manifest in those zones of life.

Sometime the wall of “ego” which many of us erect around us as a safety measures, hurdles the receiving.Eventually the blockades manifest in life as lack of love or heart and blood related problems, loneliness, insomnia etc.

In practical life we feel difficulty in handling day to day problems or tending bad and old health of parents and neighbors.We find their behavior nagging. Their open dissatisfaction and lack of appreciation of our efforts seem taxing to us. Still the appreciations are there in comfort of their body cells though it comes as silence. The silent appreciation of their comforting body cells get their invocation in the universe and it l comes to us as good karma.

The universe is a perfect system where none of our actions go unnoticed. But only it is bit different. In perfect accounting system of universe sometimes the source, investment and return are not same. We invest somewhere and get its return from unexpected source. But return of energy is always there that we have invested at the cost of being imperfect.ARE NOT FEASIBLITIES OF SOME IMPERFECTIONS INEVITABLE?