The lost lane of bliss

At night certain uneasiness dawned at me, soon after a soft pain accompanied it.At crack of dawn the cramping of stomach overtook the siesta. Apprehending the day ahead, I resolute for light breakfast and meal,but  morning progressed with nausea and stomach cramping. And my resolution resulted as no food at all.


After completion of half day work of Saturday, with sinking energy when I had been heading home the mind was too speedy. Totally overpowered by the non-conducive thoughts, the mind was struggling to give up.
Hours after, while making the bed my brain was still roaming and recalling those long buried hurts and people.


The rolling incidents of my mind were vitality sapping and subjects were negating people! I was continuously wandering into the dark lanes of morose thoughts, feeding on precious vital energy. The vampires of life were my subject thoughts and had been sucking me mightily.

Even my awareness to overpowering negativity seemed frail. At the moment, to cut the vicious thread of moronic thoughts seemed a herculean task. My struggle went for hours with failed triumph.


Why I was so engulfed unable to discard it, I was amazed. I recollected my day schedule. I wondered the causes of it. Are my missed quotas of brain rescheduling meditation and hourly japa resulted to this havocking energy dissipating miserly thoughts?


For the ease, I halted for a deep breath, tried to relax and prayed ,O’ lord take care of me. I glanced at the Shiva family the most empowered one-the Adi Guru, the ruler of the universe. Ma Parvati or Ma Durga, strength or “Durg” of self. The obstacle remover Ganpati is the doorway to joyful day and endevour. The Lord of purity,  Kartikeya, the mighty discipline and discriminator of mind. His presence in life ensures safety and success. The Kalpa Brichya or boon giver or wish fulfiller/  Nandi.


 At the moment I wanted to capture my lost vitality. I started to grasp the essence of Ganpati.
-Peace leads to concentration. 
-Awareness of present moment.,
-Being attentive-talk less and listening more.,
- Acquiring power of discrimination.
- Equanimity- digests good and bad with equal ease. 
-Be detached.
- Egoless.

I had to ponder on all that zones; I had to find my lost lane of bliss and harmony in the maze of whirly allies of negative thoughts. I had to work religiously on lost points of my Ganesha.


Entire incident gave me few mute points to ponder on. Was my sinking energy level, dragged me down in racy, morose thoughts. Or was it my inability to capture the positive frame of mind back fired? Or my indecisiveness and unawareness during illness had dissipated energy at the alacrity and I got pushed in lower thoughts?

Out of sight but she never been out of mind

Mother the nurturer, protector and creator. She is the reason for our existence on the earth. She the protector as in her presence we built the strength to stand on our own. She was the first experience of our strength.

The first teacher of life the philosopher and friend or our full persona is she. But now it seems difficult to comprehend and chronicle her in tags when she is not around to make things easy for me.

 But her walking synonyms- still seek by me. I look around and when I get any parallel of her, I get my fill or feel of her.

She was the first denial of my teenager revolts. Bound by my hormonal confusion my tantrums had learned the first lesson of patience in her firm expression.  With clear message that bearing one’s tantrums didn’t mean succumb to it. She was the first clarity of my myopic learning.

As a mentor she would rule my world not in her corporal presence but in her absence too. She was a deft accomplisher of mean business of motherhood. Even now in bleak moment of my motherhood I rely on those skills for rescue.

Perhaps mother hood is all about knowing the patient business of taming the formative mind and mutate the genes of offspring on the will. When I regret to my children being so nutty, I get reassured by them. “Don’t feel bad mom, next time we will listen you. And in a year we will automatically follow you. Recalling, oh mom said so! As your suggestions have already mutated our genes to obey them as unfailing commands. Have patience it is only matter of time and mothers’ are known never to give up.”

 And then it amazes me how mother rules the frame of mind always, in my smile, in my talk. She is just out of sight she has never been out of mind. That is why we unconsciously obey her, more we recall her more we become her. That is why she is mother!

 But still motherhood is the most revered one as it gives an opportunity to be a creator. Happy mother’s day!

The icon

The yesteryear actress of nineties  Archana Puran Singh, who was acclaimed for her sizzling dance sequence in movie directed by Pankaj Praser. The bold story of drug dealing was set in picturesque Goa. It got critically acclaimed on many fronts-for direction to its whirly camera movements, editing and choreography.It was supported with fresh star casts.With its aesthetic presentation the movie had long been captured the imagination of audience.

But after that with her first famed release of first movie, the actress surprised many with no- another- release parallel to it.


Soon with her down heading career, for survival sake perhaps the talented actor opted  flavour vanished, stereotyped roles. And the disheartened fans accepted her in repetitive roles of eccentric vamp-yelling nonsensically. Though, her work out persona and maintained aura, even in her restricted script would often tap the memory of her amazing dance moves of first release.


Perhaps this is called destiny. And it forces us to believe in upper hand of almighty or higher one in occurrence of life. Truth of life unfolds to us, with our puppetry role as a human existence where success and failure are chained somewhere else.


But certainly this is not the end of story, it is start. Then what keeps her survived in her career despite not so supportive destiny. What about her still knocks the consciousness? Why does even her small screen presence etch the memory lane seeking share of attention? There is certainly something in her. 


Her lively, well groomed youthful look perhaps again an endeavour to keep pace with seven year junior hubby. But here again she is undoubtedly an unbeatable winner, proving her points in life that love and harmony matter more in matrimony than disparity of age.
Supported with her energetic presence, the small screen show of comedy circus has been running for years without any interruption.

Her intelligently apt hilarity to support a weak humour is really commendable. Her humanity rank first as she responds to worst humour in most dignified way.


At the family front she came as home runner, still without regretting her hard push as an earner.

Though her bouncy ever fighting spirit still misrepresented by Bollywood in repetitive dabbles of negative roles. For decades dangling in short psychotic role she now geared to small screen with talk show and as finalist.


With successful matrimony and children she seems to be blissfully happy giving her best to every job of life. 


At comedy-circus as multi tasker her inevitability makes sense. To uplift the energy of sinking humour and saving TRP, she shakes the show with well tuned punch lifting guffaw. Her positive comment as a judge and charismatic gearing retains the integrity of the space from straying in double meaning gags. 


No doubt the earnest approach positioned her as a permanent finalist of the show, ironically sometimes at the cost of afflicting ruthless hurled humour. And now sailing through the odds of nonsense in cheerful and composed way her presence seems more pertinent in the show than the performers.

Her persistent energetic endeavour to work, her ease at rolling in laughter at nonsense now makes sense. Her dignified way to take the ruthless jokes without any tinge of hurt and offend.Her role as support system be it running of home and hearth or maintaining harmony in family.She is commendable everywhere. 


In short her presence says, I am Archana Puran Singh or rather Puran Singh who ensures the purn “complete” sailing of things be it life, family or a show.” 

THE WAY OUT

She put her signature at the paper, the crushing anguish shivered through her. In overwhelming dizziness, she conjured the sight of home front. Dealing with sadistic sucking vampire! How she abhorred that life!
Few moment of escape she wanted for her survival from that horribly created anguish at home. She wanted to escape from those people, the suckers! Vampires of life!

They mean to negate and sap one’s vitality, but at this closed, desolate place, with scarce opportunity, the last hope to continue there for her crashed today. The permanent one was returning at his place. Hopelessness engulfed her. Through her frosty sight she conjured her state- she visualized her dealing with them throughout the day.
Few more years advanced, few more crises came and jolted her life. How long all this going to envelope her? She would question herself. When her life would be normal like any other person?

When did she feel some enjoyment? It seemed more than a decade to her when any incident jubilated her to the core. Why happiness had been turning so remote to her? Why one after another she is getting engulfed in the crises she abhorred most.

In the big hall, during meditation session, she felt distracted unable to follow even the simple instruction. She got amazed watching the people who were following the instructors promptly. It amazed how openly people were talking or discussing their problems with masters.

For her there were array of amazements waiting to be unfolded. She was perplexed in many ways. “Is it safe to open up?” She questioned herself, though her heart had long been crying for redressal.  In fact she was having problems with bowing down to those simple looking couple. They were teaching the methods, brimming with happiness, smilingly stopping to different people. Several times without any insistence by them she was suggested and told things, which she grasped despite feeling it non convincing.

But then with book of inner journey in hand she stood from there to walk the path of life. “Not so easy, but not that difficult either”, she speculated. The bunch of key to solve the problems was in her hand. Now she had to find right key for right path. Learning, studies, contemplations were now the new additions to her routine.

Few years more added in her life with few more opportunities, few gratifying growth and few more crisis to solve! Still she contemplated and seeks for solution. To chalk the right way to solution, she would mull over the origin, was it inside or outside? And every time she found the origin of problems inside.

She assessed her projection to the world. As a fragile self it was she who presented herself to others, to be taken granted or being utilized. She realized her wrong  projection as a frail self had prompted others to take advantage of her.

Now it was time for her to stop the blame game and to take responsibility to create her life.To create strength to face compliment and criticism at the ease.

To create life,  she realized there must be clarity in mind, a full picture of life.She felt that the outside efforts of correction measures cent percent should be supported by right attitude and clear picture of solution, unfailing, always and permanently.