The way of happiness

While surfing the net in the evening, I felt elated by getting comments of spiritual masters at my blog.I greeted the sunrise recollecting the pleasure of last evening. I felt gratitude towards my blissful existence and presence of almighty in life.

Next morning at our official residence a gang of laborers embarked to clean the drain. Their noisy talks and discussions for the while filled the otherwise serene air of the morning and distracted us from our errands. For a while, their scuffling walk through the yard and echoes of cleaning chores kept straining inside. And then through their ricocheting exertion a audible but melodious crooning vibrated through the air, “tum aa gaye ho nur aa gaya hai,”

Startled by this unexpected entertainment and to maintain the privacy of my back yard adjoined kitchen where my house hold help had been working. I decided to check it out through my morning engagement. Though aware of my house hold not so young rather advancing age stature. But I didn’t want to take risk and put her in embarrassing situation of eve teasing that too in safety of my home. I decided to check it out.

Peeping through the window I captured the sight of a young hand amidst the gang of laborers. Totally engrossed in his work, he was crooning a delightful melodious tune, completely oblivious of world around him.

After return from my work in afternoon when I went in back yard to review the cleaning work of morning. I found the yard spotlessly clean without any trash of garbage or strewn leaves here and there. Everything from drain to garbage trash was cleaned spic and span.

I doubted my assertion of happiness. It forced me to debate. “Doesn't the way of happiness vary from person to person?”

LORD GANPATI- PRAYER

We worship Sri Ganesha

The Supreme Brahman personified!

The embodiment of wisdom

The all pervading energy

The stainless, peerless bliss

We worship Sri Ganesha

The Supreme Brahman personified!

The cause of universe

The source of knowledge

The origin of devas

We worship Sri Ganesha

The Supreme Brahman personified!

The lord of gunas

The lord of material world

The lord of gods-The Eesha

We worship Sri Ganesha

The Supreme Brahman personified!

The infinite, formless Lord

The benefactor superlative Lord

The nosh of opulence idyllic Lord

We worship Sri Ganesha

The Supreme Brahman personified!

Om Ganeshsaye Namah!

Run Of The Mill Lives

The International Women’s Day on 8th march was nearing and my creativity inside tide up intermittently for the expressions, but the overwhelming fogginess was profound than the clarity about the topic.

Sitting with laptop the mind raced and hankered to diverse subjects-one after another. And then iconic Aung San Suu Kyu- the Nobel laureate for peace haunted more than anyone else. Her appealing yet turbulent, out of box way of life, her marriage to a man one year younger than her. Her education at Cambridge, her mediocre life in Britain, her political career at Burma and subsequent house arrest of 32 years. Her youthful look, her poise her unfathomable spirit there was allure in everything about her. The subject was taking shape in me, and then unexpected I under took the journey—

The train had started at usual time at around 6.00 p.m. To relax the encountered melee of startup journey it seemed a big relief to stretch a little on accommodated space of the berth.

Around mid night the occupant of lower birth made the entry. Subsequently a harsh, croaked voice pierced the slumber of everyone in compartment.

“Whose footwear is these?”

Groggily someone replied in irritation- “move them aside and put your luggage beneath.” After her boisterous entry it was her discussion that outlaid us more. Her discussion at the audible limit ranged from politics to inflation lasted till dawn bereaving many of them to their sweet dreams. In next quarter of time I was out of slumber tried to take stock of her. An elderly lady in salwar suit with short hair do –not so condusive to talk with, I opinioned and tossed on berth with annoyance.

In the morning alighting from the upper berth my husband-hushed me that take care of the lady and don’t disturb her. She is a cancer patient she must not be disturbed. When I alighted down I sat at the end of her lower berth taking care.

My engaged attention broke by her query-“are you working lady?”smilingly I replied in affirmation. The lady does not seem so crass in the morning. “Where do you work? Sitting on her seat she initiated.

Few moments of mingling revealed more about her. A retired university staff she was 65 years old. Diagnosed with cancer in 2003 and subsequent three operations she had been fighting the lethal battle on her own.

She was on her way to half yearly check up to the leading health center.

Her indomitable spirit seemed impressive. I didn’t see a single tinge of apprehension in her voice. The way she had been handling her finance and her ailment without any help was amazing. An enthusiastic raconteur and full of social life she talked on every issue from her food habit to lodging.

During the journey the morning news paper too fuelled the my imagination about the Aruna-the nurse at KMC Mumbai who was fighting the life for 38 years. Her plea for euthanasia got rejected by Supreme Court but her fight was still on.

More than year old news still refuses to leave memory. “What does keep her going?” Is the biological superiority of female body which is equipped with power of creation? In the mortal world we name it “ Shakti.”

Then I felt a pressing need to celebrate woman’s day to salute those unwavering spirit who most often go unnoticed.

In my neighbourhood, I got another lady fighting the emperor of malady.However juggling her ailment still her eyes focused on child progress and husband needs. When she talked about her chemo she chuckled in between her narration as if she had been recounting a travelogue.

Heaped with social responsibility, in today’s world Indian women are the most stressed. Managing the two worlds of career and home very few realize her unsupported stature in the home and society. A manager of her nuclear family, as a career woman or home manager she always lacks support of care giver during her needs.

In Indian setup she lacks the facilities like crèche and dignified place or home for parents. Even the mentioning of these needs raises frown as if she is a vampire. Ready to dump children in strangers hand and ready to leave the old without any support and care.

Just be humane and think about the necessary strength she requires carrying the day and obligating her responsibilities. And how long she can sustain herself without pushing in depression and persistent fatigue. A common companion of Indian women!

The world is changing faster so the woman as an individual- to save the society we need to save the woman. Since century she has been taking care of everyone. In today world equipped with education and aspiration she needs some understanding and change in family setup to sustain and showcase her potential. May almighty fulfill to all! Happy women’s day!

Beyond the rule

Tossing the frugal leaves and rolling the dust in the way the gale of earlier monsoon raced through the open corridor. The smoky clouds dispersed in the sky and diminished the light in few minutes.Soon the earthen smell wafted in air. The drumming drizzle followed the move with rushed breeze. And care of rest were taken by hilarious students in class without teacher. In few moments the ambience got charged by frenzy chorus of theirs.

The uproarious chorus line started surging through the hallway and surpassed many classes. Then the hilarious merriment of first shower rushed forward and echoed at the far end of the corridor. Lost in jubilation the merrymakers rioted in the hall way and were making everyone oblivious of the surrounding.But not for long the place was not meant for glee club. The dispersed throng most of them were either walking or standing near the entrance. Still engaged in gala affair they jerked to sudden halt after sighting Maim Authoritarian.The festival of rain suddenly turned into frozen chill.

The bespectacled, lean frame was standing near the door with firm expression. In crisp, cotton saree, her annoyance glowed through the fair skin. She had been standing with stern look scrutinizing everyone.Though she was tight lipped yet her silence was screaming at everyone overthere.

The walk inside the classroom encountered her more unexpected sights of unruliness. The serious frame caught few more involved ones inside the classroom-“Dhing chika, Dhing chika”-many were gyrating in synchronized chorus with uplifted arms. Her serious expression froze everyone to statue. Arms still rose in air the faction had caught her sight. Assimilating her presence and following her silent dictate they moved to seats, lowering their heads.

The hard pressed compliance had been still floating over there. And a firm voice pierced through the air- “guys, today we have shortage in teachers’ attendance. So there would be no substitution classes. I believe you do understand the decorum and discipline of classroom and intend to maintain it”.

Absolute silence prevailed in the air, moving towards the place everyone got silent and serious. Maim Authoritarian walked ahead in the corridor with firm lips and straight stature. Silence was evoking and prevailing through her every step as she moved ahead.

But now her created silence was haunting her. Both the sight of jubilation and merrymakers were instilled many of the lessons to her. The tempest of surrounding was now storming inside her, questioning many of her faiths and believes.

A whirlwind of thoughts occupied her tired yet firm brain. She accessed, “how long had it been for me to laugh with open heart like them?

When did the simple happening of life make me hilarious? When did I laugh so hardly that had brought tears in my eyes?

She failed to recall-she recalled the horrible sights of those moment…

The emergency call…the news…that wait near….his body..She got blackness in front of eyes, but fortunately she found herself near the table. She grasped the back of the chair.Her eyes still choked in tears and blackness. She wanted to retain that blackness in front of her eyes as she wanted to omit the sight of white sheet and body beneath it. The soft body of .. Whom she had nurtured in her hands. Shaken to her core she stood there.Her gaze still fixed at far end at the horizon seeking the address of her lost one.

“Today the weather is turned really magnificent.” The attendant announced keeping the bundle of books at the table. She nodded in affirmation through her choked teary sight.

I terrible heaviness rose inside her. She witnessed all that –the earthen smell, those flashing of lights through the clouds, an intense cool drenching rain but all without any meaning to her. What made her so immune to happiness? Does she consciously insulate happiness of surrounding? No wonder the life sometimes seems so meaningless to her?

She debated in silence. Isn’t it crime to suffocate the laughter at its birth point? Why do we reformers or adults doubt the shaken faith of depressed youngster? Why did we ask them where did they get the infection of depression? Not we, the reformers are reason for it? Don’t we consciously suppress the merrymaking in youngsters and sow the seed of depression? She walked through the corridor choked in noisy self debate.

My journey to Lord Shiva

Tossing on the bed I was feeling nauseated and febrile. I had been pressing my face on the pillow to seek some respite from excruciating pangs of migraine. Perhaps a wrong chosen medicine had rendered me in that desperate condition when no other medicine was working. Without any option every time at the attack of migraine I had to bear the mighty brunt of it. That day the advancing sun was much provoking and thus there was upsurge in my discomfort.

I had been listening the trotting of little feet of my kid around in the room. Sometimes her silken soft touch and the sopping peck on my face, “mamma is not well today.” She was being persuaded to let me have the needed rest. The little one persisted clutching my arm “when I love mamma she gets well soon.” Under the dizzying pain I was numb unable to lift my eyelid.

As the throbbing pain seemed the only option of the moment, I gave into it. I wanted to feel it and encounter it .With all its might the pain was displaying and overpowering me. Battling it for hours after some time the pain seemed to mellow a little, I could not exactly tell whether I was dreaming or awoken. As I was able to listen every pulse and noise of the room , who were coming inside or venturing out the room .

Perhaps it was dream and during the perspiring flash of hotness, a soothing chill started dawning upon me. I was walking in the snow covered valley. The chill was comforting. My bare feet walk on the earth was melting the ice below as I was feeling the melting fluidity under my feet. I was following a person perhaps my spouse he was the same except he was attired in rustic local hilly outfit.

We took bath at a river in chilly water. The man, my spouse was rustic and pleased most of the times like a village folk. Then we walked in through the narrow icy lane and reached a temple. Inside the temple I saw huge Shiva lingam. The milk was being poured upon it. The sanctum was full of devotees.

Outside in the valley while walking I was getting Shiva Lingam frequently. There were many Shiva lingams all over the place. All of them were formed of translucent ice. The icy Shiva lingams of varied sizes were placed at everywhere. I was amazed with the magnanimousness and serenity of the place.

Feeling refreshed when I opened the eye it was mid days. I perceived that all the curtain were drawn in the bed room to save me from piercing sharpness of light a migraine patient suffered during the pain. And the room was cleaned and organized as I always felt better that way.

Then few years back at work place I was asked by one of my acquaintances whether I would undertake fasting on Maha Shivaratri. I answered, I am aware of the merits of fasting but I know little about Lord Shiva.

But every year during Maha Shivaratri I felt a deep silence or something appealing about it. And there was persistent inquisitiveness on my part, " I know a little about Lord Shiva." One of my acquaintances answered, “What is there to know about it, just do the fasting,” but I was not ready to take it. When I didn’t understand anything it seemed a futile and mechanical way to me to do anything.

I wanted to understand and found my Shiva- MY REAL SELF and his connection to MY LIFE. Till then I was aware of the Shiva consciousness –the transcendent and highest self of ours .But how to achieve it and even try to start the journey of seeking I hadn’t any clue. I was trying to get that link and was speculative enough to find many answers of life through him.

My quest led to my knowledge. Then I decided I would undertake fasting that year. I was ready but that year it was destined other way by Lord Shiva. Perhaps on physical level more healing and cleansing was needed to achieve the Supreme Shiva and on physical level I was not ready for that.Or in another way there were still many hindrances inside me that were working more actively than my constructive positive energy.

Two days ahead of Mahashivaratri I got news of my father brain stroke. And my Shivaratri went into journey to my father’s place. During the journey again inside the reserved compartment there was crowd of devotees heading for the pilgrimage. All of them on their fast were heading to Lord Shiva shrine to offer worship. They were politely asking to us a little place for their few hours’ journey and forgiveness for the inconvenience caused by them. Befriended with pilgrims I sent my offering to Lord Shiva that year through one of them.

But then I was getting clearer on regular encounter of me with Lord and many faces of majestic deva- Adi Guru, the Lord Shiva. I had been realizing that the universe, the Lord Shiva is asking me for more transformation. My quest of knowing more about the Lord had been rekindling more than ever.

When I see the image, the energy pattern of our lives- Lord Shiva I realize every reason to follow and work upon him. Watching him I realize the strength comes after dropping “ego” an inheritance of human and many of us cling to it. When I see Neelkanth I feel how blissful he is even with poison inside his throat whereas we always find difficulty in resisting reaction.

Learning and studying Shiva teach me many other things which are still out of my expression perhaps I need more time. Yes! " I still need to know more about him." Praying upon him helps me to realize my inner knot which hinders my growth.

I am still on the path of seeking and learning. But now I have answer to my queries. Or perhaps when I seek to few newer queries the answers come to me on its own.

ALL FOR THAT ELUSIVE LOVE

EVERY THING IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR. There isn't any  surprise that to win  love war is fought. History and civilization are witnessed of it. Hence ample legends and folklores are here to amuse us with heroic battles of love.

But history is after all history, isn’t it? But what about those incidents which we often sight as repeats of history.A common sight to see couple who wage wars to claim love. Aren't the rising graph of divorce cases are the results of disillusioned love? In which the partners naively claim and ask for more love and soon get disillusioned with the non-compliance.

Eventually it turned out  that if there isn't any love in life there won’t be any disappointment.

“I love you more than anyone else” assertion between spouses is perennial proclamation in which no one is ready to duck.

Once one of my acquaintances with grown up children, furiously disclosed,“My husband even after decades of marriage does not listen me. But anything which would come from his mother and siblings  he listens and acts with exaltation as a word of Bible.” With teary eyes she sobbed,“After 20 year of marriage still in his life his family is more important than me”.

Her innocent complain about her husband filled me with amusing happiness. A palpable strong family bond and a true seeking of love was floating in her complain. Aren't fed with these traditional values we survived for civilization?Revering her longing and i tried to show her reason, “If he doesn't value you how come, everyday he comes to drop you at work place. Don’t feel bad he loves you passionately”. My reasoning didn't satiate her at that aggrieved moment.

But this tug of war is common sight and noise of Indian marriage which usually passes from mother to daughter but the seeking of love in life never vanishes.

So honestly i am not an exception. Every now and then the mortal feeling seems to loom larger on me. Once rather feeling insecure about my position i decided to take furtive action and nip the problem at the bed than wait and watch for the right moment to dawn.

As a forever foresighted person I believe in taking care of syndrome rather than wait for full grown ailment. And to handle my case dexterously and I have taken action before hand.And it is here as free advice to everyone else.

AT HOME I MADE SOME RULES FOR MY HUBBY DEAR. When I suggest him something.Right after completion i mention him what is being expected to him, next as a reaction? “After listening me you are expected to nod in affirmation with comments or you can say, “I fully agree with you.” And after that there is no restriction for using positive adjectives for me as compliments.

But my enlightened hubby never gives any ear to these trivial. At home he is solely interested in clean cloth, homely meal, good bath and sleep. So like an enlightened one he never wastes his time in arguments.

Amidst all well documented and represented arguments of mine, he looks at me like an innocent pre-school child while having his meal occasionally asking for more dal or water- chewing mouthful of food.

He opinionated “I know the levels of wife –“You can get angry but you shall never ….”and then his believes and faiths block all arguments and I realize futility of it. After all in this short life when there is less time for love where is the place for argument. Love and live life to its fullest.

Life is love... Live it with love!

Taming the unknown territory of “what if”

What does propel us in the horizon of “what if”-the fear?

Is it stress, tired body, unaware mind, weak physical or mental frame, unfavorable planetary position or one’s inability to correct it?

If these are potential magnets of fears then why don’t we discard them permanently to make peace our everlasting companion? As we are taught that the fear always exists in future never in present but it troubles the present moment.

Perhaps, “fear” is the companion of seekers, which need complete aware and persistent effort to curb it.

The means taken to control it are myriad-maintaining good physical and mental strength by meditation, breathing exercise and yoga etc. Each applied effort takes own course and time to work.

Let’s hope to achieve the goal as the seeking has already been started.