We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves

~ Gautam Buddha

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Beyond the rule


Tossing the frugal leaves and rolling the dust in the way the gale of earlier monsoon raced through the open corridor. The smoky clouds dispersed in the sky and diminished the light in few minutes.Soon the earthen smell wafted in air. The drumming drizzle followed the move with rushed breeze. And care of rest were taken by hilarious students in class without teacher. In few moments the ambience got charged by frenzy chorus of theirs.

The uproarious chorus line started surging through the hallway and surpassed many classes. Then the hilarious merriment of first shower rushed forward and echoed at the far end of the corridor. Lost in jubilation the merrymakers rioted in the hall way and were making everyone oblivious of the surrounding.But not for long the place was not meant for glee club. The dispersed throng most of them were either walking or standing near the entrance. Still engaged in gala affair they jerked to sudden halt after sighting Maim Authoritarian.The festival of rain suddenly turned into frozen chill.

The bespectacled, lean frame was standing near the door with firm expression. In crisp, cotton saree, her annoyance glowed through the fair skin. She had been standing with stern look scrutinizing everyone.Though she was tight lipped yet her silence was screaming at everyone overthere.

The walk inside the classroom encountered her more unexpected sights of unruliness. The serious frame caught few more involved ones inside the classroom-“Dhing chika, Dhing chika”-many were gyrating in synchronized chorus with uplifted arms. Her serious expression froze everyone to statue. Arms still rose in air the faction had caught her sight. Assimilating her presence and following her silent dictate they moved to seats, lowering their heads.

The hard pressed compliance had been still floating over there. And a firm voice pierced through the air- “guys, today we have shortage in teachers’ attendance. So there would be no substitution classes. I believe you do understand the decorum and discipline of classroom and intend to maintain it”.

Absolute silence prevailed in the air, moving towards the place everyone got silent and serious. Maim Authoritarian walked ahead in the corridor with firm lips and straight stature. Silence was evoking and prevailing through her every step as she moved ahead.

But now her created silence was haunting her. Both the sight of jubilation and merrymakers were instilled many of the lessons to her. The tempest of surrounding was now storming inside her, questioning many of her faiths and believes.

A whirlwind of thoughts occupied her tired yet firm brain. She accessed, “how long had it been for me to laugh with open heart like them?

When did the simple happening of life make me hilarious? When did I laugh so hardly that had brought tears in my eyes?

She failed to recall-she recalled the horrible sights of those moment…

The emergency call…the news…that wait near….his body..She got blackness in front of eyes, but fortunately she found herself near the table. She grasped the back of the chair.Her eyes still choked in tears and blackness. She wanted to retain that blackness in front of her eyes as she wanted to omit the sight of white sheet and body beneath it. The soft body of .. Whom she had nurtured in her hands. Shaken to her core she stood there.Her gaze still fixed at far end at the horizon seeking the address of her lost one.

“Today the weather is turned really magnificent.” The attendant announced keeping the bundle of books at the table. She nodded in affirmation through her choked teary sight.

I terrible heaviness rose inside her. She witnessed all that –the earthen smell, those flashing of lights through the clouds, an intense cool drenching rain but all without any meaning to her. What made her so immune to happiness? Does she consciously insulate happiness of surrounding? No wonder the life sometimes seems so meaningless to her?

She debated in silence. Isn’t it crime to suffocate the laughter at its birth point? Why do we reformers or adults doubt the shaken faith of depressed youngster? Why did we ask them where did they get the infection of depression? Not we, the reformers are reason for it? Don’t we consciously suppress the merrymaking in youngsters and sow the seed of depression? She walked through the corridor choked in noisy self debate.

2 comments:

  1. It's a slice from the narrator's life but it leaves space for the readers to imagine rest of her life..
    Well written Arpana.

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  2. As a teacher whenever i get news of depression and the fatal attempts of young, i feel somewhere as a support system , it is failure of ours-of adults. Young lives are meant to grow and live.

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