Life as a full circle

Life is a full circle, whatever goes up is bound to bounce back. Traditionally, off springs are tagged as prosperity in life. But, when the prosperity falls in the lap unexpectedly, it bound to startled one.But clouded in mysticism of  newly honored status of motherhood  and charmed with innocent divinity, we tend to forget the world in the bliss.

Though walking the path of motherhood the acquired prosperity soon forces us to be the mean to run the daily business of life as the simple means sometimes prove maimed.

However sometimes i found myself, at the nervy edge even with so called enjoyment. When the child was small, the crabbiness was unavoidable.Tired to the center, coping with all that I would often hear comments from elderly side –“Your generation loses composure so easily, see I had four children but I would hardly lose my composure.”

Although the powerful claim of my mother met the dust in the next few days, when she had been left with little one.That to with the unfortunate task to feed her the breakfast in a chilly winter month. After my return I found my mother almost in tears, shaking in guilt with her food bowl. Like a child with accumulated guilt of non performance she admitted that feeding a child like her was the most difficult task on the earth. Till then chortling in joy the bundle of energy supported  mother's failure with grin.the Full of energy the  bundle of joy taken her benevolence on complete ride. In more than half an hour she did everything except allowing the food in her mouth, laughing to charm her, hurting her gum in the process and then demanding the proximity of lap, smearing the liquid food all over her face and on the woolens of each other.


Then in that, bleak moment of exertion which parenting entailed, I would console myself that in few years when they would grow up the work would be lesser automatically.

But when asked honestly- “Are the problems of lives meant to be solved.” No they are not, they would be never be, “one have to generate strength and tolerance levels.” A vital lesson which comes to us belated like hard earned wisdom of spirituality which makes the entry in life after most of the sufferings.

So in parenting, the job of managing and cooking of the food is ours but the tastes are theirs. They shall take their meal in time or not, headache is ours, but the moods they have.

It’s their right to access all the facilities of modern gadgets and privacy of being on their own, but all the risk involved in accessing the powerful threatening gadgets by them, is ours. It’s our pain to get acquaint our self with know how to solve all expected problems they can generate with the high speed gadget, which came much later in our life than theirs. Despite all these risks it is our responsibility to provide them with the indispensable immunity of ours that they are not being heard or their personal space is not trespassed.

Whenever all these happen once again I console myself, “Only change is permanent in the life. The life is full circle, so I decided to wait for my day to enjoy, when I would witness the repeat of wondrous prosperity in the life doer of today. And then silently watching them i will feel the bliss and will comment like an enlightened one – “Your generation loses cool very easily.”

My canine ally

My first trysts with those wobbly legged creatures were rather apprehensive. I would reciprocate the friendly holler of canine with retreating self or by vanishing from the place. The city dwell upbringing of mine had nurtured an aloofness in me to natural world and that was enough to restrict my carefree mingling with man’s best friend.

I had just returned from my native place after a vacation and I was paying my news paper vendor at the exit then I first met them. Sniffing my presence outside at the dusk their mother mistakenly took it as a call for food disposable time. She hurried from backyard, and four wobbly legged tiny ones were following her. She stood beside me wagging her tail in friendly way as if she was trying to revive my promise of food which I had kept throughout her gestation period.

Halting the conversation mid way I stepped further to have a closer look to those white patched and ginger hued ones. They seemed a bundle of joy in their puffy body with soft fur. Perhaps the alien proximity of mine scared them to the core, fearing for their lives they ran hither and dither as if sighted a blood sucking vampire.

In following few days the pups were reasonably closer to my family members especially to my daughter, a great canine admirer and animal activist of her own sort. Till then I was the only object in their sphere of life to be frightened. My friendship with them got further hiccupped during morning hours when I would open the garage to take out my vehicle. Then there they filled with last night showered emotions of mine would start their reciprocation in front of the wheels. Risking the already shaken friendship of ours I would haul them in backyards.

In the evening at my return to show their displeasure and humiliation of morning hours' they would scurry to backyards with their backs on me.
That year the winter had been proving harsh to those furry bundles, then one night her mother and siblings had paid to their lives to a wild brawl among strays. The sudden departure of their siblings and the mishap involved in their sudden disappearance brought some obvious changes in the demeanor of lone survivor. Even the nearness of human and animals were enough to alert her and she would maintain a safe distance from them.

Her aloofness to human started costing her health as she was turning into ribbed cased cage with pickled sort of four reedy arms.

She was always a frightening self. She was only one in the herds of strays of our colony who would contently move behind after having a small portion of food. We never witnessed any doggy and witchy sort of things in her way.

With time she struck the right note with all of us and our nearness relaxed her further.Now she would reciprocate lovingly however she was still ribbed and leaned.There was an unusual compassion on her face. She had beautiful long eyes filled with serenity.

Next winter she gave birth to four puppies, and the sight was all soothing with her naughty ones sleepy over and tumbling down on sleepy mother. The softness and humbleness was innate to her, but the most startling sight of hers at our place became when an orphaned kitten joined her puppies’ clan to suckle her. And ungrudgingly against the nature she had been suckling her too along with her puppies.

Then nature stuck her again and like her troubled past she lost her pups one by one.
We were thinking how she would cope with her lose. But she was more enlightened on that aspect than us, as we human tend to stick to bad incidents. But she had the strength to change the way of life with her thin long bony frame. So what if it was against the nature’s way. Now the kitten all grown on her feed became permanent companion following her everywhere.

Till then, she became loving companions of ours; she was with us during our evening walks. With seasons she became accustomed to our respective vehicles at retreating hours. At the start of the engine she would run to us keeping her at safe distance greeting us. My daughter,s arrival from her hostel would seem to her perfect time to rejoice. She would show her happiness jumping around her and bellowing something undecipherable putting her forearms at her front. That open display of love would last for long and then contently she would retire to any space on the verandah.

After our return from our annual vacation that year we found that winter was unusually cold at our place. To our dismay the harshness of winter got visible to us in her slow and jerky limps during the walk.

After that most of the time we would find her lazing around on the grass bathing the sun rays. One day my husband remarked might be she wouldn’t survive the winter. I shrugged the unpleasantness- “no she is not feeling well, that is why, in few days when the chill will retreat she would regain her agility.” but I had also witnessed that her agility had been yielding to chronic lethargy.

Then that day when after the walk of ten minutes we didn’t sight her, I felt a creeping void; I looked around why she didn’t come. Although we were quiet but we had been feeling her vicinity. “You know she is somewhere in the vicinity, perhaps now she is unable to move.” my husband remarked.

And then we spotted her at the distance amidst the bushes at one corner of the grass. That evening in her ailment somehow she managed to stand at her place and wagged her tail. She flagged us –“I am here.” She stood there for sometime then she sat at the same place that was her last expression of love to us. Even during her last moments she chose a quiet distant place not to create any inconvenience to others.

The place still exists in our yard more importantly in our hearts as a mark of love. Like an angel of love a gingerly hued had created a place in the heart of withdrawn, apprehensive one - “telling me open up, love is limitless, a perennial flow, embrace it and flow with it. That is only the way to live truly.”

Retreating Horizon

It was grey darkness all around, with numbing drowsiness she got up to have some water, even in the darkness she sensed the distance of water jug. She moved to have it but the gap inched, then it went beyond her reach. Juggling with surging discomfort of restrained muscles, perspiring she woke up. “What was that a nightmare or reality?” It took a while for her brain to settle in the realization. She swallowed the saliva to soften her dried throat. “Why everything was so dark?” she switched on the night lamp and glanced at the water jug kept on the study table just few feet away from bed. Rakesh was contently sleeping.
Involved in the chores of kitchen, Keya’s mind was still engrossed in the recent development of work. Though a bit tired with recent commitments and deadlines finally she was feeling comparatively at the ease after completion of the job. Switching off the stove, she collected the extra stuff to put back in the refrigerator
The greenery was lavishly thrown in all around, she liked the landscape intriguingly. A loner and an introvert since childhood it was her passion to own a place amidst nature. After years of planning and investment at last she realized her dream. When she visited the place she found everything over there was above the expectations.
“Why are so many guards at every nook and corner?” she thought standing at the balcony. When she opened the door she encountered a lady guard standing at the entrance. For the moment she hesitated then she glanced to her questioningly. The guard withdrew her face to other side and moved aside.
She moved ahead towards the fence. A lovely kitten jumped from the side bush, her heart pounded for the moment but soon it got replaced by the loving smile. The kitten straightly went to her mother who was lazily lying under a bushy tree. “A strange place indeed” she sighed, “there are no people in sight. After all the people belonged to high strata always love their anonymity”.
After having the breakfast Keya peeped through the window, few sprawling bungalows in the sight, those would be of worth crores, so pricey, she thought. A tinge of pain in the head she had been feeling since morning it was still persisting. The maid came with a tray of medicine; she simply obeyed her as a child. “When Rakesh comes from work she will go for a walk” she decided. In living room sitting on the sofa, she watched the water fountain near the entrance. Last evening when they were coming the fine carving of water fountain were scarcely visible. She felt heaviness in her eyes, now they were refusing to obey her. Struggling with uneasiness she lay on the sofa over there.

The house was really big and dexterously built. While crossing the lounge she admiringly halted with her towel in hand. A big full size mirror was fixed on the wall over there. It was reflecting the view of kitchen garden. She saw a plump lady of forty plus, “who is she? What is she doing here? “Perhaps Rakesh has hired her.” There were enough white strands on her head. She always abhorred plumpness. She remembered her dashboard tummy; a pride gleamed in her eyes. She coughed lightly to clear her throat. She had to cook lunch before 1.30p.m. But before that she must take bath….
She watched the sunset from her bedroom’s window. The street lights were all lit up. The smoky light of the street were lowering on the path drenching everything outside in the engulfing grey. She compared the progressed time with different version of lights on the streets.-the tube light then vapor lamps and now these smoky lamps- she tried hardly to chalk out the name…. She wanted to switch on the light but failed to put on with enough strength to get up.
She could not exactly recall, when and how a void started appearing in her heart despite all material success and blissful life. Whenever she would look back she felt that while acquiring the success she had exhausted herself to a great extent. “Is she paying the cost now?” She mused. “Is she lost her liveliness somewhere during her grinding routine?” Gripping in rising tiredness she felt that whatever seemed difficult to achieve was not always the best.
She would see blankness in the eyes of Rakesh these days. His fair complexion sometimes seemed pale. Last evening when she had pointed his white strands behind ears, in return he smiled upon her blankly.
In the evening when Rakesh came she stared him, she wanted to cross him for several queries of hers. He gently clasped her hands to shift her to bed. Why most of the time she felt her movement so restricted. She wanted to ask that too. She would certainly do that –but again the drowsiness fell so heavily upon her. She clasped Rakesh hand feeling his presence. The darkness silently grew in the room draping everything else in that. She wondered whether someone else present in the room. She listened the growing faintness of footsteps inside the room, soon the silence prevailed all over.
“Why does the maid wear the chic white uniform?” Keya would get puzzle. That spotless white uniform would force upon her some familiarity to something that seemed difficult to recall.
Feeling thirsty she pressed the buzzer to call her for water. While she was holding the glass her hand jerked meantime. She felt something wet on her feet. There was a panic on the maid’s face. Why didn’t she bring her water? She felt a lump of dryness in throat. She swallowed the saliva to soften it. She wanted to make a call, but how--.
She felt warmth upon her hand with familiar odor. She turned her eyes to encounter an anxious looking Rakesh standing near her. He was wearing an impeccably clean white shirt. There was not a spot even after a day of long work. She tried to place her hand upon his shoulder. Her hand jerked again. That time for better Rakesh clasped her hands tightly and brought on his chest.
-----“Mr Rakesh you can take her home, there is not much improvement in her state, but she is cool and silent. It is a bit late to recover. Get her examined regularly”. That white approned man smiled and gently patted Rakesh’s hand. “Why is he listening that after all”? She wondered. “Come on”, she gestured him with gleaming eyes, in return Rakesh stared him with hollow eyes. “Work load is increased too much for him. She is too not giving proper attention to his food”, she thought guiltily. “Come on”, she smiled again-----.

weird and wonderful

Have you ever faced the people who always  enjoyed being on the other side of the fence? Specially when you need or expect a real nod of his or her while you were dealing with outside world.

 But ironically they do  reverse of the expectations. But still it is enticing once one  get the taste of it as one finds it irresistible to leave the game mid way. Once tasted it, it is almost impossible to give up. The magical enticement of being on the other side of the fence and to enjoy is one weird pleasure which my family inherited.

But i faced the challenge since my birth.So with time I started taking pleasure in it. Not only this  i got charmed with him. Now i found the fellow of the other side of the fence so irresistible. To hate him or her is  impossible even I  try. I  ended in  loving him or her more.

Strange, weird, difficult or simply different, whatever they are  named, are here in our lives—the weird and wonderful.

What are they actually? Do we really need a tinge of weirdness in our lives? Well, these genres are actually spices of life. The life gets seasoned with the multifarious ones. It simply acts as the taste booster.

The strangest thing I found about myself is I love weird and wonderful people of my life. I love all critics of my life. 

For instance when I got placement,
blinded with sisterly love  I shared the pleasant news to  my sister. In response I found her more serious. She responded in quite quirky way, “So you got the job and now you will teach, --What?” and she nostalgically started reminiscing the bygone era.  How on the report card day she,a topper would decor her academically won medals on my chest wiping my tear flooded eyes not getting any and  consoling me all over, "It is  yours, you take this.It looks really beautiful on you." And completely consoled and satisfied I would stupidly march along her for the home.

And here is another one,despite dissipating my precious energy on my dotting one, my daughter,after a long cajoling and explanation on the health issues and safety.I get straight away her reply—“Mom, we won’t talk on this issue, I don’t want to, sometimes even bolder confession, "Mom, I won’t do as you suggested,” and then already exhausted I ponder," Honesty is good but this is not too much ,even hard to digest." Still the love does neither melt nor my liking to the weird and wonderful.

Here is another instance,the boldest of the list, who always prefered to be on the other side of the fence. When I suggest for a walk he will give excuse of  long hours of his work. His excuse leaves me in  me wonder,reading newspaper and watching TV certainly do not cost any energy. “What an energy booster techniques, only accessible to married man?”

Even on the tours, while shopping, standing beside me he takes side of the shopkeeper. Once taking evening walk with him, the sight of vegetable market enticed me and after much persuasion we entered in the market. The bargain of small boy selling green coriander left me puzzled. So I tried to show him the reason-“How can you charge rupees three for one bunch where as rupees five for two bunches”, while I was midway in my bargaining the hubby dear, with big grin supported the child, “Hey don’t give, she has been doing too much bargain”. Even my angered glance did not stop him taking the side of others. But I am too made up of hard stuff So I assure myself, it's ok if you can not help me in  the bargain, I have another good job for you and that is lifting the vegetables bag.

But the oddest one is the sweetest memoir- when my ailing mother, after calling me demanded that I should visit her urgently, as she was not feeling well. Being aware of her incurable ailment and her failing health my heart sank and my throat choked. Through out  my life i had brought smile on her face with my weird and lovable pranks. That moment also the child in me wanted to see smile on her face and craved for the musical laughter of her. From the other side, on the call I somehow  checked the  heaviness of my voice and  flooded tears.  Somehow I managed to stage my familiar recklessness to her, “No, no I won’t come,you get well on your own. You are very tough person and you nag me enough, I am feeling more safe here”, Accustomed with my familiar weirdness my mother had a heartiest laugh that still echoes in my memory. After a week she left us for the haevenly abode. But still her last chuckle echoes  in my heart, which i reverently recall with her memory.Therefore I feel, if weirdness brings smiles on the face of our people then it is thing to cherish.

Krsna Conciousness

All of us are seeking the knowledge, therefore everyone knows something of everything or everything of something. The ancient philosophy of the prosperity has eight key limbs which comprises - will power, wisdom, wealth, courage, children, learning, power and victory.

Ruled by the ancient philosophy of prosperity most of us therefore surrender ourselves to knowledge. The basis of any learning is to equip ourselves with extra tools to handle the life better.

Blissful state is the birth right of the soul, but when the spirit tries to enjoy it materially, in indulgence. A vicious cycle of disruption in the body constitution starts which manifests as ailments that mess up the life.

To save ourselves we do need krsna conscious- “the blissful state of self”. Krsna is non-sectarian; means the greatest pleasures. “Krs”, means greater and “na” means “pleasures”. Krsna is the epitome of pleasure. Our self is the embodiment of knowledge, bliss and eternity. It is sacc- cid- ananda- vigarhah.

One of the Krsna name is Hrsikesha means enjoyer of all senses. The people more often feel elated with good food, cloth, sight-seeing, music or anything else which satiate or exhilarate one sense or more than one senses, people indulge in that. We simply feel fortunate to be at the right place at right time, getting access to these things in life.

While enjoying one particular sense organ sometimes we overdo it and abuse the system.
Now suppose a condition of acquiring the power to enjoy all our senses equally that would be really a blissful state. In that totality a simple meal will be assimilated best, the day can be spent wonderfully. The totality and the blissful state does wonder in life where a simple food can be enjoyed as feast, a house as home and a stranger as a friend.

Krsna has no material form, his form is transcendental. Our self is krsna, so our self is transcendental. By putting ourselves in certain mental harnessing regime we can elevate our self to unlimited potential.

Since our childhood we are listening about bakhti, we are often told -“we can win the lord by bakhti.” Bakhti means unconditional love, love without questioning, without any expectations.
How does bakhti help us?

Here I would prefer to elaborate it further, in our body there are seven vital chakras (energy center of body through which we get access to life force energy).

Heart chakras are the center of seven chakras it is also known as chakras of love. To get better access to life force energy our upper and lower chakras must be balanced.

To love unconditionally is a condition when the upper and lower chakras are aligned. In this condition our bodies harness the life force energy in best possible way. Thus ensuring ourselves better health and working ability. On the other hand when one has already balanced upper and lower chakras, then already in that person life we witness opulence of love and life force energy.
So this Janamasthami let’s, find our krsna conscious and get best out of life. After all we deserve best in this benevolent Universe.

The success lies in discarding all that which is not working or hindering the self to achieve its blissful state. As a drop of ocean water has all properties of the ocean itself and we although minute particles of the supreme whole have the same energetic properties as the supreme Universe.

Janamasthami also reminds us not to inhibit the peace, bliss and prosperity which we rightly deserve. Let’s get all, that lie within us.
Have A Happy Janamasthami!

A Communion With The Nature

Previous night I had caught up the sleep early and fortunately the next day the early hours felt so refreshing. To catch the glimpses of early morning and feeling the breeze I came out. The tender shoots of emerald greens were swaying in the monsoon breeze. Feeling beckoned by their magnetic effect I moved to that part of the earth. Their velvety texture held my attention; I found something different over there.
I decided for a walk on the grass, of already advanced season of monsoon, just a walk without any invested wisdom of benefits, simply to admire the honey bathed sun rays of early hours, without the intention of lowering blood pressure,or to ease arteries and heart functions or to lower LDL level or to soothe and tone muscles.
I wanted to have a calmest communion with nature. Not at the exotic place, but there in my own yard or in front of the exit.
The lush green arrows of the nature, were bathing in golden hued sun of morning hour they looked extraordinarily fresh. The same popped up grasses of monsoon clogged water in that particular corner near the gate were smiling cheerfully. It amazed me, how soon they regained their old lush green hues. Few days back the persistent spell of rain had almost choked the grass on that corner near the gate paling it completely. And now rejuvenating itself once again in the following few days of dry spell, it had been completely livened up itself.
Entire monsoon the oblivion grass near the exit would get flooded with spell of rain but it was there again full of life forgetting all its bearing or affliction of water logging .In a short respite of dry spell,showing its indomitable spirit it retreated back to its original self.
It amazed me how these blades of grasses sway and bend merrily in the harmony with the cool breeze when at any moment the same furious wind could beat them mercilessly. How did these soft fragile harmonious grasses restore the intrinsic built serenity? Didn’t they remember the afflictions of few days back by the same wind?
I put my bare feet on the grass, the dew bathed coolness trickled me in the sole soothing me all over from eyes to nails. The tiny droplets of last night dews still clinging on the blades as half asleep child, were sparkling their diamond hues in the morning rays.
How could a cool dew bathed grass give impetus to health? Could it tone and soothe the stressed conscious? Could the tingling coolness under the sole clear different points of the meridian? There was no need to know all that as nature knew everything .It had been taking care of everyone that day I just enjoyed the harmonious bliss of the nature.
When I put my feet upon the grass I felt I was meeting someone long lost. Though they were always there right at my place yet I missed the presence of indomitable spirit of theirs near me. It was their intrinsic strength to forgive the afflictions and to build harmony, that is why they survived the ages. The preserver of earth (soil) ,the provider ,the home of millions of tiny creature- they were so full- a benefactor.We always viewed them from the height that blurred the vision of ours. I too didn't notice them as I had been living in vanity of height. As I had forgotten the bliss of their presence and that is why the best missed by me for so long.

Shravan-Month of Lord Shiva

The month of Shravan usually falls in between July to August. The Monday of the month Shravan is especially dedicated as day of lord Shiva.
Mythologically, the story about the commencement of rain was linked with Samundra manthan. During the month of Shravan lord Shiva had swallowed the poison, which had come out of the Samundra manthan or churning. To moderate the effect of poison taken by Shiva the rain god Indra had instructed the rain to shower the lord.The gods had poured milk, curd and honey to cool and mitigate the effects of poison . Then onwards, during the month of Shravan which coincides with monsoon is viewed as the month of lord Shiva.
The worship of the lord Shiva with offering of belpatra (leaves of wood apple plant, which is a body cleanser and has the power to lessen the rising pitta constitution of body), milk, curd and honey (all with alkaline nature) are traditionally being offered specially in Jharkhand.
In Jharkhand, there is a place named “Baidhyanathdham”, famous for lord Shiva temple. People from neighboring states or locals throughout the month of Shravan visit the place with their faiths and offerings.
The offering of cool, alkaline natured milk, curd and honey symbolizes the need of body cleansers to our system during the monsoon. As the infections tend to surge in moist and warm season, the body needs to build the immune system.
During the month of Shravan religious people refrain themselves to onion, garlic and non vegetarian food for better cleansing of body systems.
Monday, specially during the month of Shravan is dedicated to lord Shiva. People observe fasting on Monday which is known as “Shravan Somwari”. Locals with the offering of flowers, belpatra chant mantra “Om Namah Shivay”.
The five syllables of the mantras- na, ma, shi, va, ya- are the beej akshras or seed letters of the five elements of the creation- Earth, Water, Fire, Air and Ether.
-Flesh represents Earth.
-Blood represents Water.
-Body heat which helps in digestion represents Fire.
-Prana or life giving force represents Air.
-Mind represents Ether.
Constant chanting and repetition of these holy syllables verbally and mentally generates powerful spiritual vibrations that help to focus the mind which in turn align the chakras. The calm mind is a ground work to blossom intellect.
Shiva means our own self, the purest one, our inner most core. So we must cleanse the soul with the potent tool that is the mantra “Om Namah Shivay”.
The seven vital chakras of the body also signifies the Shiva- Sakti aspect of the body. The upper three chakras represent the Shiva tattva -the mind, the dynamic one whereas the lower three chakras represent the Sakti tattva, the earthy and the material form of the body.
The dual aspect of energy and matter, prakriti and purusha, the drava and guna, the substance and qualities.
When the upper and lower chakras are aligned one attains equanimity, the state of “brahmn”- the balanced one. The balanced state of self opens the gate of opulence, unlimited love and bliss.
The ancient yogi “Shiva”, the universe-“Shiva”, the purest self of ours “Shiva” also signifies the gender equity and loving togetherness in conjugal life. The Ardhnariswar form of his, as half man and half woman avatar signifies his love and togetherness to his beloved wife Parvati. It also represents the creation and balance of nature with equality to both gender in ratio and status.